All in the Android Family
by elsupa
Summary: A comedy about Android 17 finding his place in the Z fighter's world, in the most ridiculous manner possible.
1. Piloting

**Piloting**

* * *

_**Hunting, the greatest sport known to man.**_

Android 17, cold, slightly wet, dirty and tired, bored and lonely in the woods, forcefully repeated this to himself.

_**Hunting was the only time when man was one with nature.**_

He threw his shotgun, and hit a bear on the head with it.

_**Hunting was the only way one could truly know himself, and, the world around him.**_

17 caught a deer in a half Nelson head lock, and choked it out.

_**After all, other than Hunting, where could a man really test his will to survive? To do whatever it takes?**_

Three squirrels came running across a branch. 17 responded by puffing his cheeks up... and then spitting three times. They were clean shots.

**Hunting... was.. really freaking boring..**

17 carefully piled his catches together, and began dragging their stinking carcasses to his home.. even though he already had more 'trophies' jammed in his deep freeze then he could eat in two months of binging...

… What the hell was he doing, he had to ask himself. When had his life become this?

It was safe to say, in this moment for the former killer android, life sucked quite a bag of dicks.

How had it turned out like this? He wasn't quite sure. He had come back from Cell, and everyone was suddenly way stronger than him, so he thought, "Hey, I'll go ahead and hide out for a bit". To avoid getting annihilated by a vengeful Vegeta or an enterprising young Gohan, you follow?

That 'bit' had gone from a couple weeks to a few years in no time... and he was losing it. He had nobody to talk to or rely on. 18 had married one of them, friggin Krillin, and even had had a kid. And 16 was just gone...

17 was all alone, and caught in a rut... things were starting to get to him... a cold desperation was setting in, and all these dead animals weren't filling the void in his life...

He wasn't sure how long he could keep up this self destructive lifestyle. Caught between pride and more pride, he was lost and in desperate need of a way out..

Splat.

At that moment, some kind of projectile exploded on his chest.

17 put his face in his palm, not because he realized it was a red paint balloon, but because he realized how elated he had been thinking it had been an energy attack.

Dear god, was he really at the point where one of the Z fighters assaulting him was a pleasant happenstance?

"Fur is murder!" one of the many freaks standing in front of him shouted through a megaphone.

"It's freaking cotton!" 17 yelled, tugging at his ruined shirt.

What the hell was this? A PETA meeting in the woods?

Among the half ass protestors, were a few forest rangers, and they chose then to approach him, and slap the cuffs on him.

"Son, it is not hunting season." the grizzly older man growled, "And even if it was, I don't see any permits, not for animals, or these guns!"

"Is this a joke?" 17 exclaimed, as they confiscated his shotgun and pistol, "I thought this was an unregulated region, when did that change? I live out here for crying out loud! And why the hell did you drag these tree huggers out here to get me?"

"We've been looking for you for a while, you're quite the legendary poacher," the ranger smirked, as him and his partner began to drag him along, "Thought we'd make a spectacle of it since we finally caught you red handed!"

"Well, aren't you a peach." 17 seethed through his teeth.

They dragged him through the crowd, letting him get a good ear full from the chumps.

"Monster! Animal killer! Forest Raper! You're kida cute!"

17's face crinkles up in disgust, mostly at the fat hairy guy who uttered that last comment, but also, he was losing his temper.

"Alright, I think I've had just about enough of this boys," 17 sighed, charismatically to the rangers dragging him along by either arm, "I think it's time you learned who you're messing with!"

17 grinned with unbridled malice.

….

The jail door slammed shut in front of 17's face. He then promptly began rattling the bars.

"I want my phone call, and I want my lawyer. I'm innocent. Right to bear arms, assholes!"

17 smiled to himself, this was slightly more interesting than gutting squirrels, he had to admit. At least, he thought so before the nausea of self disgust set in.

What the hell was he doing? He should have given those rangers and freaks a well earned beating, or a nice and deadly explosion at least... but instead he had opted to get carted down here to the old jailhouse...

His malaise really was quite profound, if he was willing to put up with this crap. It was as if anything was cool, as long as it was a change of pace.

"Howdy pretty lady," a very surly looking man in the cell with him, who decided to reveal himself then, slathered out and approaching him in a creepy manner, "How'd you like to bob's my uncle?"

17's malaise was suddenly cured.

"I got your lady right here," 17 growled as his shin made a good attempt to rend the man in half, "Good luck ever peeing while standing again in this life."

The man collapsed, and the entire ranger station joined him, as an android made his way back to freedom with a vengeance.

Something about getting hit on by hillbillies, was the straw that broke 17's back

The former greatest power in the entire world? Why should he stand for this crap? It was time to get busy living, or get busy dieing!

… Well, the point was, 17 was miserable, and he couldn't deny it anymore. When getting thrown in jail with freaks was an exciting and interesting day, he knew something had to change.

No matter the cost.

…

**Capsule Corp, 1900 hours;**

It was quiet, too quiet. Or maybe just quiet enough, who's to say?

The Vegeta was in the pantry... repeat, the vegetable was steaming himself in the room he screamed about his prince-hood and obsession with Goku, and sometimes did pushups in.

The Bulma was out... and nobody else that mattered could possibly stop him!

Like a ninja from the future... a future android ninja if you will, 17 entered the building like a light breeze... if walls were open windows in this theoretical world we're talking about.

Come on, he was still himself after all.

Alarms and screaming filled the air, as 17 barreled his way through the building and into Bulma and Vegeta's bedroom. 17 didn't worry about the noise, as he happened to know Vegeta's training room was sound proof. Even Bulma had eventually tired of the "I will surpass Kakarot" monologues, after all. He had plenty of time.

He was also... pretty sure...

17 began rifling through drawers on their bureau... yes, he was pretty sure... yes!

17 unearthed a red thong.

"Daring." he commented, nodding approvingly, then cringed, "I really hope this isn't Vegeta's."

17 then set the underwear aside and continued to scour the area... until he finally found it!

"Yes!"

"What are you doing in my parents room?"

A young Trunks growled.

17 blinked in surprise... trying to remember how strong this kid was or wasn't...

Just super saiyan? Something more, or not?

"... I'm the cable guy."

"You look more like 18's brother." he growled back, "Steeling the dragon radar."

17 blinked again, realizing he had been holding the device up this entire time

"You know what this is?" 17 exclaimed

"Of course, I've already used it even!"

"Boy, are you clever," 17 smiled, "Then, perhaps, can you tell me what these are?"

A red thong smacked the boy in the face.

Screams, explosions, and an ended childhood accompanied 17's Scott free escape from the Brief household. And he wouldn't have it any other way.

The Greatest Android Who Ever Lived was back!

…

**What followed next was an epic adventure of daring do for our hero. He braved the wilds, the desert, the oceans, and even climbed a mountain or two, all in his pursuit of the seven magical wish granting balls.**

**He encountered a cute girl warrior, **

"I'll slit your throat you dirty cat burglar, give back Gohan's hat!" Chi Chi screamed, chasing the android out of her house.

**Befriended a communist pig,**

"Hey porker, I'll give you a pair of Bulma's panties for the dragon ball they got stashed here."

"Been there done that, pretty boy," Oolong shot back.

"Then how about ChiChi's then?" 17 asked, producing a pair or white ones.

**Met with a old Hermit,**

"Hey, were the hell are you going with that dragonball!" Master Roshi exclaimed.

Sweat rolled down Oolong's face, who was in the process of handing the ball out the window to the trader.

"Sir," 17 interrupted, "Could I interest you in a pair of stolen women's underwear?"

**Bested a desert bandit, **

"Ow, that really hurt you jerk!" Yamcha exclaimed, massaging his head vigorously.

"Well, you should have just took the panties." 17 responded, examining the newly acquired ball.

"I'm a professional baseball player, I can actually get dates, what the hell do I need underwear for!?"

**And defeated a green midget in a game of wits,**

"You have become short and pathetic, Piccolo!"

"I'm not Piccolo, you jackass!" Dende exclaimed, trying to give chase, "And stop making fun of my height, I'm still growing!"

Dende paused for a moment.

"And bring back that ball you thief!"

A**ll in his quest to grant his one heartfelt wish! Also, he found three other dragonballs in exchanges that were neither memorable nor funny.**

**Anyways, long story short, he had all 7 before sun up.**

**...**

"Whew." 17 sighed, admiring his prize.

He had picked a nice secluded place, where he was sure he could make his wish before any annoying Z fighters could pop in to interrupt him before he was finished. He was good to go! It was time to claim immortality, to make himself an unrivaled god!...

The seven orbs were pulsing with energy, it was quite a sight. And getting them had been one hell of a thrill! 17 had to admit he hadn't felt so good since before he had learned Cell was a thing, he was ecstatic, to put it lightly.

Conning and jobbing all those maroons? He was in heaven... and, he wanted it to continue! It was just like the old days!

… Except there was something very big missing...

He couldn't deny it, he was desperately missing the company of his road crew. This was fun, but wouldn't it be so much funner to mess with these jerks with some friends? Some of the best friends a man had ever had? All he had been able to think about this entire time, was how funny they would find this, or how would they react to this, and so on.

18...

But those roads were closed to him, even with the dragon balls power. It was useless to dwell on it...

17 sighed bitterly.

"Arise, Shenron." he called out monotonously."

Perhaps the most half hearted summoning of the dragon there had ever been, but, it was enough. In all his spectacular glory, Shenron burst from the balls, and in moments, blacked out the sky with his otherworldly aura...

And even that didn't do much for 17, he was too hung up on his dilemma.

"_**Choose your words carefully, I will grant your wishes!"**_

"Ugh.." 17 groaned, second guessing himself, "I.. I wish for the Ultimate-..."

He hesitated... Ultimate power right? Immortality? Then it wouldn't matter how strong his opponents were, he'd be unstoppable!... Able to do whatever he wanted ..

But what was the point...

"_**What's wrong, why won't you finish your wish?" **_the dragon roared impatiently.

17 shrugged, how did he answer that question? He couldn't silence the doubt in him. He suddenly thought about the dumb Z warriors he hated so much. Whom he had all basically assaulted just getting this together. They all had friends and loved ones. Trunks would go to his parents, ChiChi would whine to Goku, Yamcha to Tein, Diet Piccolo to Piccolo classic, and so on and so forth. In fact, the whole group were brothers in arms, each and every one. Like one giant family. They could all rely on each other...

But who did he have? Even 18 was theirs now. They had taken everything from him. His entire...

"_**What's the matter?"**_ Shenron growled with impatience.

"It's just... Family, you know?"

"_**Your wish is granted!"**_

The dragon's eyes glowed red, and 17 had an aneurism.

""What the hell?! What wish!"

At that, the dragon seemed to grin. 17 wondered if he imagined it.

"_**You wished for the Ultimate... Family!"**_

17 stared back in horror.

"You ridiculous green fever dream of a nutty and even greener alien, what the hell is the matter with you! Ultimate family? What kind of wish is that!"

"_**I said to choose your words carefully, didn't I? Blame yourself!"**_ Shenron answered.

"I blame you!" 17 shouted back.

… _The Ultimate Family?_

17 felt his stomach grow cold... what a shameful and pathetic wish.. what could the side effects of something so... stupid, possibly be? He kinda wished his bomb was still in place, just so he could escape what was going to happen.

… What was going to happen?! Was some woman going to appear, claiming he had impregnated her? Was that the simplest way this stupid wish could come to fruition?

"17!"

"Oh god," 17 seethed.

He had called it!

He spun around... then he saw who called him, and he dropped to his knees.

He gagged, "18...! Tell me it isn't so!"

"What?"

17 paused, suddenly realizing how dumb the idea he was having was.

"Eh, nothing..."

He rose, awkwardly...thinking things over. A wish for family, and here was 18... that was probably the whole wish...

"What a gyp." 17 commented to himself, shaking his head in disappointment.

Then he slapped a hand over his mouth. He wasn't disappointed this was the entire wish, was he? As if, he had wanted more?

"17.. what's the matter with you?" 18 asked, with a concerned look on her face and in an exasperated tone, "I haven't seen you in years, and out of the blue, you're messing with the Z fighters and trying to summon the dragon?"

17 recomposed himself... 18 was here, he couldn't be so... open right now... he had to handle her at arms length...

"... What are you doing here, 18?"

He tried to sound nonchalant... he tried as hard as he could.

"You're busting up every one's houses, causing all sorts of trouble."

"I don't remember going to your house. How's this your problem?"

17 smirked at his cool statement. 18 returned a deep frown instead.

"Because you're my brother!"

17's eyes widened.

"So they're all coming to me to yell about you!"

17 sighed. What the hell was he expecting?

"So sorry to be such a burden. God knows I didn't want to darken your perfect little life."

"Don't be like that."

"Like what 18?" 17 growled, he didn't want to have this conversation, but since it was being thrown right in front of his face, why not, "Is my existence really such a problem for you?"

"How can you go out of your way to avoid me like the plague, but still act like I abandoned you!"

17 paused, a bit blind sided by that one...

"I just don't want to get in the way of your stupid... Krilllin family!"

"Is it really my choice in husband that bothers you, 17, or that I have any man at all?"

"Oh there it is, isn't it!" 17 roared back, "I can't just be mad that you're sleeping with the enemy, I must want you for myself, right?"

"I didn't say that!"

"Like hell you didn't!"

"Guys, quit fighting."

"Mind your own-!"

The clunky metallic voice had 17 and 18 stop in the tracks of their sibling squabble. But looking over to see who said it had them forgetting the argument entirely.

"No freaking way..."

17 couldn't believe his eyes.

"16," 18 seethed, "Is that really you?"

"Affirmative." 16 said, with a bright smile.

17 was... suddenly so moved, he couldn't contain himself.

"16, you beautiful ginger bastard, where the hell have you been!?" 17 flew up to him and promptly gave the giant a noogie. The only action he could think of in such a situation.

"I was enjoying non existence, until I was rudely interrupted," the giant android joked.

"You wished him back, 17?"18 asked, smiling so warmly, "That's so awesome!"

And then, she suddenly flew up and hugged him and 16's head.

… 17 wasn't used to such a friendly atmosphere... it had been quite a while since the last time he was 'awesome'. It was going straight to his head.

"But I don't get it, I thought the dragon balls didn't resurrect people who have been dead for more than a year?"

"_**16 is an android. He isn't truly alive, so he can't truly die. The same rules do not apply." **_Shenron suddenly explained.

18 gave 17 another approving look... she didn't know this was all some strange accident wish coming together right in front of their eyes... 17 wondered what she'd think if she found out this just happened while he was trying to wish for immortality. In fact, he began to wonder if there were deeper repercussions to his wish...

And then he suddenly laughed. What did he care? Everything was awesome again! Why look a gift horse in the mouth?

"Well whatever. All I know is everything's the way it should be again! Let's go party guys!"

"Yes." 16 nodded.

17 was already ready to lead the way to some mischief, when he was stopped.

"No, wait, not me." 18 held up her hands, "I'm glad you're back 16, and we should definitely do something... but it's late, and I have a family at home. It'll have to wait til tomorrow."

17 blinked, turning around. She was still one of 'them' first, huh? Even after all this? Was this the limits of the dragon's power?

"Come on 18, that didn't stop you from coming out here in the first place! 16 is alive, we gotta party now!"

"For your information, I came out here because the Z senshi busted down my door and ordered me to bring you and that radar back, or not to bother returning home! They're really mad, 17."

"Oh, alright then." 17 said, smashing the radar to bits.

18 stared back in a mix of shock and rage. 17 didn't give her a chance to react.

"Alright now let's go have a real family reunion!"

And then, something unexpected happened.

"You said it nephew!" a strange man wrapped a hand around 17's shoulder. To whom he snapped back on like he was a Cell doppelganger.

But whoever it was, reacted in time and deftly blocked it...

"Who the hell are you you, ya creepy old dude!"

17 exclaimed, 18 and 16 were immediately at his sides, ready to back him up.

"Hey Hey Hey now boy, you mind your tongue, I ain't so old!" he said, "And check your eyes boy, I'm your dear Uncle, Android 13!"

17 stared back, mouth agape.

Did he just call himself his 'Uncle'?

The wish...

"What are you talking about, Dr. Gero dismantled all the Androids before us!" 18 growled, "And if so, why would you choose now to show yourselves..."

18 glared at 17 at that point... he could see she had already seen through the 'save old 16' wish assumption he had let her make.

"What can I say young lady? I'm tougher to kill than a slack jawed mule!"

13 then laughed quite obnoxiously at his own joke.

"What the hell does that even mean!?"

"And so are my compatriots," 13 continued, ignoring her, "14 and 15!"

As he said that, a small and large android approached from the darkness.

The little guy approached and shook 17's hand.

"What's up cuz? I'm 15."

The large android walked up, and hugged him.

"Father!" 14 yelled.

"Get the hell off me you moron!" 17 exclaimed, shoving him away.

16 frowned.

"These units existence is highly suspicious..." he looked at 17, "My data shows conclusive confirmation of their dismantling."

"17," 18 seethed, "What did you really wish for?"

17 was frozen.

"Now boy, ain't this sweet? We all just one big happy family now!"

17 was speechless, as 13's chuckling filled the air. 18 and 16 were mad at him, along with the entirety of the Z fighters. And now he had these three weirdos to contend with.

He glared up at the dragon in disdain. That stupid wish he made...if it could do something this annoying, how far might it go...?

"_**... You have another wish-" **_Shenron said, as if baiting him.

… He had been right the first time!

"I wish for ultimate power!"


	2. Driving

**Driving**

* * *

"Have a nice day Mister!" Lenny, the checkout guy at the local gas station called, as he waved good bye to the first costumer of his last day...

Today was a good day for Lenny. His manager was quitting, and he was up for promotion! Right on time too, because his girlfriend was really starting to get fed up with him, his rent had just been raised, and, he was looking to buy a car. This surplus of income and responsibility would surely solve all his problems in one go!

Lenny breathed a big breath, this would be his last day of minimum wage hell!

'Ding' 'Ding'

The door rang, signaling someone had entered the store.

Lenny looked around curiously... but it appeared no one had come in.

How strange, he thought.

A malfunctioning door was a bit of a slight on his great day, wasn't it? But, taking the initiative to fix a malfunctioning door would further cement his competence in the owner's eyes, he thought. He welcomed this challenge!

Lenny, feeling full of bravado, leapt over the counter, and marched up to the glass push door of the store.. He opened it, and closed it.

'Ding' Ding'

Lenny furrowed his brow. Why, this door seems to be in perfect working order!, he thought to himself.

How strange...

'Cha-ching'

Lenny jumped in his skin, instinctively recognizing the sound of his register opening!

Were they being robbed? He spun around in a hurry!

Despite his worries, he was still not quite prepared for what he saw.

"Here you go, sir!" said a diminutive man in a ridiculous hat, wearing one of the employee vests even, "Your change is $236 in bills, and $7.32 in change!"

He dumped all the money in the cash register into a bag and handed it to a black haired man, with an orange bandana who was standing in line.

"Stop thief!" Lenny roared, running forward... only to slip and fall on his back.

No, this couldn't be happening, to get robbed today of all days could seriously threaten his chances of promotion! Especially if his response was this pathetic! He had to act, he told himself!

Lenny shot up like a light, only to stop when he noticed a very large hand was gripping his leg... that's why he tripped!... but what kind of being could such a monstrous arm belong to, he asked himself with no small amount of worry.

Lenny's eyes slowly traced the ridiculously bulky appendage to it's horrifying source, a scary, giant of a man with pale skin and more hulking muscle than you could shake a stick at. As his eyes met it's, Lenny was quite sure he was at the end of his life.

"Shh," the beast said, putting a finger to his lips, "I'm helping father!"

With that, the man disappeared, and Lenny began his life long pursuit of convincing himself he never saw him in the first place.

Ever.

"Are you trying to rip me off?" the black haired kid yelled, somewhat rousing Lenny back to reality, "Where's the rest of it?"

"Sorry, sir," the hat guy smirked, "I'll have to get if from the safe!"

"Yeah, yeah, giving me the run around," black hair sighed exaggeratedly, gathering up an arm load of junk food, soda, and beer he had gathered together at some unknown point in time, "I'll send my boy back for it!"

"Very good sir!"

The black haired kid turned to leave, stepping right over Lenny, who was still so much in shock from the 'daddy' man he couldn't think clearly.

As he approached the door, black hair paused to stare Lenny right in the eyes, and slowly slid on a pair of cheap aviator sun glasses, that he stole right off the rack.

"Laying down on the job. What a degenerate." he said.

And then he was gone.

"Hey noobie, get back to work!" hat guy berated.

That, that was it for old Lenny. Only so many shenanigans would be tolerated, before he could tolerate no more! He jumped to his feet with more style than he had shown in his entire life up to this point, and rushed for the door. He wasn't a big guy, but he was positive he could wrestle that bag of cash back from that guy! At the very least...

But, fate wasn't on his side, it appeared. No sooner had he reached for the door, then he was flung back, back on his back. Lenny's body screamed with frustration, what could it be now!

And with one glance, all his nerve flowed out of him like so much hot hair.

"I was told to pick up some bird seed in here?" the largest human Lenny had ever laid eyes on asked, crouching into the store.

Clad in green armor, and with an orange sort of Mohawk... Lenny almost fainted.

"Bird seed?" hat man exclaimed, then grinned widely, "Ahh, yeah yeah, I got you."

He then tore the store's safe right out of the floor, like he was a little person incredible hulk or something, and tossed it to the giant.

"There's your Bird seed, son." he grinned.

"Thank you," the giant smiled, and left...

With all the stores money.. but Lenny was just glad that was all the monster had wanted...

"Noobie, you're a disgrace," hat man sighed, "Sleeping on the floor during business hours? No, not in my store! Get out of here, ya fired."

Lenny was suddenly quite at the end of his rope.

He leapt back behind the counter, and grabbed up the shotgun that was stowed there.

"Put you're hands up!" he roared, aiming at Hat man's hat.

"Noobie, you lost it!" hat man cried.

"You bastard, I was going to be promoted to manager tomorrow!" Lenny growled, "Now what's the owner going to think of me!? At the very least, you are going to pay, mister!"

"Now Now, calm down city boy! Why, you're acting nuttier than my me-maw's pecan pie!" some third party interjected.

"Pecan pie, fool." hat man joined in.

"Shut the hell up!" Lenny screamed, turning his gun on...

Lenny had to pause...

Across the counter, a man who was utterly ripped, with long white hair, wearing a trucker cap, vest, and really high pants stood...

"... who the hell are you!"

The odd man merely shook his head, disdainfully, paying the gun aimed at his head little mind.

"I say boy, I say BOY!" he exclaimed, "I'd be the owner of this particular petrol emporium!"

"Bullcrap," Lenny cocked the shotgun, "The owner of this store is William Darsby!"

"And I be his business partner, Darium Willsby!" he roared back, not missing a beat.

… Even though everything in his head felt this guy was an escapee from a mental institution... Lenny hesitated.

"... Why should I believe that?"

"Cause it's the truth boy!" Darium answered, "Hell, I know all bout your promotion, that's why I brought in your replacement, Dan Dansly here, to man the cash box!"

"Sorry boss," Dan Dansly spoke up, "I thought you was my trainee this whole time, my mistake!"

Lenny had to shake his head, this couldn't be right.

"... Then what was with the big guy, and that kid, and the safe!"

"Boy!" Darium sighed, "You mo' tightly wound then a rattlesnake on all saint's day!"

On that confusing metaphor, Darium chose to fill the store with obnoxious laughter.

Lenny felt unsure of himself, to say the least.

"Boy, that big guy was with the safe company! I'm having it replaced to get a better one!"

Lenny wanted to ask how 'Dan' ripped it out of the floor with his bare hands, but was interrupted.

"And that guy with the bandanna gave me a thousand dollar bill to change, that's why I had to empty the cash register!" 'Dan shot in.

As Lenny began to contemplate those excuses, he was interrupted as Darium suddenly took his shotgun from him.

"Enough of that, boy!" Darium exclaimed, "My manager can't be flying off the handle at every little thing now, right?"

The fear of being unarmed, suddenly made Lenny really want to see this guy as his boss, and not a crazy imposter, for obvious reasons.

"Oh, sorry... Mister Darium!" Lenny said.

"Now now, Mr. Darium is my father, call me Billy!"

"I thought Darium was your first name-"

"Don't go interruptin' me boy!" he exclaimed, casually pointing the shotgun to Lenny's face.

"Sorry! Really sorry!"

"You done made me lose my train a thought... Well whatever, " Darium sighed, straightening his vest, "I expect a lot better from you in the future, boy, if you gonna be my manager!"

"Yes sir.." Lenny answered.

"Oh, you got told by da boss!" Dan chided.

"It's fine," Billy sighed, "Now I got to go now, in a hurry ya see, so, take care of my boy Darrin here, and I'll leave the store in your hands, ya see?"

"Yes sir!" Lenny responded.

"Good, Goodbye then!" Billy turned to leave, "And remember, never spit into the wind! Don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger! But son, you definitely do not tug on Super 13's cape, ya hear boy!"

"What?"

"It's coming!" he roared.

And with that, Billy exited the store, and joined a group piling into a bus at the fueling pumps. Lenny went to the door to wave his boss off... but noticed... the group contained a black haired guy, a giant in green, and a smaller, pale giant...

The group, piled in, and took off...

Lenny frowned, wondering...

"Wait... Darin, didn't he say your name was Dan at first?-!"

Lenny seized... nobody was there...

… He was just robbed, wasn't he?

...

* * *

_**Meanwhile, in a stolen greyhound bus barreling down the highway at over 80 mph..**_

"Did you see my acting chops back there? I had that kid eating out of my hand," 13 laughed, "I was a regular Burt Reynolds!"

"Don't you mean we? That guy was about to give me a pay check!" 15 grinned.

"Alright, that was pretty good. You have all just went up a notch in my book, newbies!" 17 announced, behind the wheel of the bus, naturally.

He hadn't been warm on the idea at first, but he was starting to come around on the new androids.

"Even me pa-pa?" 14 asked, full of hope.

17 paused.

He turned in his seat, taking the risk to not look at the road even with his precarious speed and the hazardous mountain roads, and stared 14 right in the eyes.

"No, never you... you freak."

17 then returned to the road.

The bus was awkwardly quiet at that, and 14 buried his face into his hands.

…

"17," 18 seethed, only then summoning the composure to act calm, "Why did you rob that place? Did I not give you $50 of my own money to fill the tank?"

"Well, I saved you some money, didn't I?"

He smiled at her smugly.

"They're going to call the cops now, you know that!"

17 blinked.

"Well, sis, don't you worry. If you get arrested for this, we'll all come and visit you in prison. Right guys?"

He then laughed, and 15 and 13, apparently not valuing their own lives, joined in.

"That's not the point 17," she growled, "We are trying to keep a low profile here, remember?"

"There's no bird seed in here," 16 announced, having torn open the safe.

17 stifled a grin.

"... Give me a break. Do you really think the Z fighters have a police scanner? And besides,, we already stole a bus-"

"And I told you not to do that either."

"And I said, let's ditch the creep triplets, But you wouldn't have it. How else was I supposed to transport us?"

18 glanced at her brother annoyed, because he could somehow utter that statement with a straight face.

" We fly."

"Like hell we do." 17 answered.

"... You're such a child." 18 sighed.

She would never understand her brother's obsession with cars.

"18, this is an android convoy, we need a big rig!"

"We got a mighty convoy, rockin' through the night We got a mighty convoy, ain't she a beautiful sight!" 13 suddenly belted out.

18 and 17 exchanged glances at that, equally discomforted.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" 18 asked, turning to him.

"I told you, creeps." 17 seethed.

"You all just ain't got no appreciation for the classics," 13 growled, "And, I'd like to object to being called a creep, I mean, sure, pasty and the dark skinned boy are real creepy, I'm with you on that, but me? Come on!"

"What the hell did you just say!" 15 growled, jumping to attention, from the back of the bus.

"I said you're creepy, you pillow head!"

"No you didn't," 15 steamed, "You said 'dark skinned'! You got a problem with me, you racist hillbilly!"

Suddenly, the bus was the most hostile place in the world... Energy crackled, as 13 and 15 stepped to each other.

"What did you call me, midget?" 13 seethed, "You forget yourself boy! I'm 13, I'm the boss!"

"I'm the boss." 17 corrected.

"Like I care," 15 seethed, "Bring it on, you clown!"

And at that, it was certain a fight would break out! Except-

"You are androids." 16 said, slowly, gripping them both by the shoulders suddenly, "You don't have races, you do not even possess real emotions. This arguement is ridiculous."

They both stared at him at that.

"Atta boy, 16." 17 shot in.

14 seemed to get roused by that, and stared angrily at 16.

"You're the big man, eh?" 14 suddenly growled at him, "Get to act like a boss because Pa-pa's favorite, huh?"

"Yeah, who you fooling!" 15 growled, as he and 13 began tugging at his grip.

"Stand down." he stated, with an edge of aggression. Tightening his grip.

That seemed to have an effect.

"... I have real emotions..." 15 sputtered softly.

"Speak for yourself, ya jolly green giant," 13 spoke up.

He slapping 16's arm away, who raised an eyebrow, in slight surprise that he could...

The bus was a bit quiet at that...

"And by the way, I'm human, I'm just like 17 and 18!"" 13 roared.

"Cept that you suck." 17 corrected, again.

The point of aggression had just run full circle now.

13 stared on for a moment. 17 smiled coolly, his eyes to the rear view mirror, and everyone began to wonder if a fight was about to break out.

`13 then put his hands on his hips in flamboyant fashion.

"Well la di da, I spose you would know bout sucking, eh Mr. Metro sexual!"

"What did you just say to me, vest boy?"

18 groaned... knowing where this was headed. Three more male androids, she should have expected three times as much posturing.

What followed next was a shouting match filled with homophobic slurs and juvenile challenges of manhood between these braying jackasses.. But, at least they seemed to be getting along...

So., 18 figured it was time to check in... while they were distracted...

Beep, beep, beep... ring... ring...

...

Vrrt!... Vert!

"Ahh!" Krillin exclaimed, slapping his hands against his back pocket.

He knew instantly his reaction was a mistake!

Vegeta and Bulam eyed him curiously, while Trunks played on his phone, unaware...

"Krillin?" Bulma asked, slightly concerned.

"What's the matter, baldy, need to go potty?" Vegeta growled out snidely.

Krillin paused at that, always careful with how he answered Vegeta...

They weren't enemies anymore, but the man maintained a constant air of violence, that he dared not press... especially right now...

He did kinda wanted to point out he wasn't bald anymore though.

But as he opened his mouth, he realized, he needed to excuse himself from this little inquisition without arising suspicion, and, the jerk had given him the perfect out so that he could answer his cell phone in peace!

"Ugh, yeah actually... would you guys please excuse me!"

"Come on Krillin," Bulma sighed, maybe slightly bothered at the position she was in, "It's your house, you don't have to ask us permission to go to the restroom..."

Vegeta's eyes narrowed at him, as if to say, 'Oh yes you do, shorty!'.

Krillin swallowed, nervously.

"Oh, yeah, sorry!" he bowed awkwardly, "I'll be right back!"

"Don't try to run off... Baldy." Vegeta growled after him, ominously.

Krillin grumbled to himself, he was having flashbacks to Namek with all this verbal abuse from Vegeta...

As he closed himself off in the bathroom, Krilin could hear Bulma berating Vegeta for threatening him, but it did little to ease his concern...

They were both really angry... 17 had gone about as far as he could go to earn their ire, without killing people anyway, but it still felt like a little much on their part...and he did mean both of them.

Krillin couldn't help but wonder if Bulma merely wanted to appear civil, and might later be cheering as her husband went a mauling like a rabid dog... she did have quite the temper, too...

…

* * *

Krillin placed the phone to his ear, quite uneasily.

"18, are you there?"

"_It's called a bandanna!" _

"_It's a fruity scarf!"_

"... 18!" Krillin yelled, confused.

"Shh, I'm right here Krillin, geeze," 18 whispered, "How are things there?"

"That's what I want to ask you!" Krillin seethed, "Is 17 going to bring the radar back and apologize?"

"_Tell you what, how bout I reach back there and jam your own head up your ass!"_

"... What do you think?" she asked

"Then what are we supposed to do!"

18 sighed. That deal they had set up with Vegeta and Bulma... They had wanted 18 to lead Vegeta to 17 so he could kill him, and she had negotiated it down to 17 begging for mercy at Vegeta's feet with the dragon radar returned.

18 had figured she'd give the radar back and tell them 17 was sorry, and see how that sit with them. But then, 17 had messed that up... so, they were kind of out of moves.

"I'm just going to hide him until Vegeta forgets about it."

"Well that's all well and good for him," Krillin exclaimed, "But meanwhile, Vegeta is sitting on our couch, mad enough to start the saiyan invasion all over again, and every few minutes he smashes something in our house in a fit of rage!"

"... **He does what**?" 18 seethed in malice.

"Re-relax, Bulma has cut a generous check for the damages, but, you could still see how that's upsetting for me right? I think he's going to beat me up if something doesn't happen soon!"

18 thought about that for a second...

"Krillin... Marron isn't there, is she?"

"No, I got her out to school okay, though Vegeta liked to have stopped me..."

"Oh, then it's fine then." 18 sighed with relief.

"... 18," Krillen seethed, "You're dear, devoted husband is still going to get stomped here!"

"... It's not like it would be your first time."

"18!"

"Just kidding," she laughed, "Can't you take a joke?"

"Since when do you joke?" he exclaimed.

18 blinked at that.

She joked, didn't she? She wasn't always serious, was she?

She suddenly glanced at 17 at that.

"Hey, why did the redneck cross the road?" he asked.

"Something about you being a dandy boy!" 13 called out obnoxiously.

"No, because Burt Reynolds was on the other side blowing anyone that would say he was still relevant."

"How dare you... that man is a national treasure!"

18 groaned, these morons were rubbing off on her... slightly.

"Well, anyways... Have you tried calling Goku or Gohan? They should help right? You guys are friends, right?"

"Well that's just it," Krillin hesitated, " I did call Goku, and ChiChi picked up, and I made the mistake of explaining the situation to her..."

"So?"

"Well, it turns out 17 ransacked her house, and a few others too in his little' episode'."

"He didn't..." 18 eyed her brother angrily.

."He pulled all sorts of crap. Now no one will help!"

"Are you kidding me? Not even Goku?"

"ChiChi won't let me talk to him!"

"Gohan?"

"17 gave his mother's underwear to Oolong. He's not helping!"

18 paused, astonished. She slowly turned to her brother.

"You took ChiChi's underwear?"

17 blinked in surprise, just now realizing she was on the phone, then he chuckled.

"I was just trying to flatter the old girl."

"You're not wearing them are you?" 13 shot in.

More name calling ended that line of questioning, leading 18 back to the phone.

"... I don't know what to tell you Krillin," she groaned, "Give me a few more minutes,"

She whispered the last part. So 17 didn't hear.

"And I'll come back, and we'll face the music together."

Krillin seethed with anger.

"This is so unfair!" he growled, "17 dug his own hole, he should take his own beating. This isn't fair for me, or for you!"

"Believe me, I'm with you..."

18 looking over 16... and 14 and 15... 13 too maybe. They couldn't get wrapped up in this, no telling what Vegeta or the others might do to them Plus, Vegeta would probably just kill 17 as it was...

"There are extenuating circumstances."

"What are you talking about?" Krillin frowned, sensing his wife was hiding something, "And who's that guy that keeps yelling at 17 in the background?"

"Got to go hon! I'll call you from my brother's place!"

"Wait, 18-..."

-click-

Krillin sighed... what was that about?

"Who was that other voice...and dammit, if they're just going to that little cabin, what's the point of her tagging along?" he thought aloud.

Suddenly, Krillin's bathroom door was kicked in, nearly giving him a heart attack.

On the other side, stood a smiling Vegeta, and a stone faced Bulma.

"So, little man," Vegeta growled menacingly, "Where's this 'cabin' at?"

…

* * *

"Alright, I've had enough of you, Foghorn Leghorn, I'm putting on some music." 17 growled, waving a cd around.

He popped the disc in, and immediately began to enthusiastically bob his head to the tune that started to crank out.

"We have to talk, 17," 18 said suddenly, replacing her cell phone, "Things are rougher with the Z fighters than..."

18 paused. If 17 knew Vegeta might actually fight her over this, she was sure he would try to intervene. And that, would get him,16, and maybe even these new guys killed... she had to convince him in a way that wouldn't reveal-

"_**-I'm giving you a night call... to tell you how I feel-"**_

18 lost her train of thought suddenly.

"What the hell is this?" 13 growled.

"It's only the soundtrack to the greatest movie ever made: Drive."17 smirked, pushing up his gas station aviators, "So sit back and shut the hell up."

"_**I want to drive you through the night, down the hills,"**_

18, again, felt herself completely stunned by her brother's ridiculousness. As he cranked the weird, 80's style synth tune, he then began to accelerate the bus to even higher reckless speeds.

She was beginning to think her brother was clinically insane.

"_**-There's something inside you, it's hard to explain, they're talking about you, boy, but you're still the same-"**_

"Gahh, turn that crap off!" 13 whined.

"Shut up."

"What white people call music." 15 groaned.

"You are a machine!"

"Father, I'll like the music if it pleases you?" 14 tired.

"If you even dare to start liking this song,"17 growled, "I will kill you!"

"I kind of like it." 16 stated.

"Bastard!" 14 yelled.

"Don't encourage him." 18 sighed.

"Don't listen to them 16,this is why we're best friends!"17 shouted enthusiastically, turning back in his seat even.

Taking his eyes off the road.

18 buried her head into her hand, as they immediately went careening off a cliff.

…

* * *

"So, what did you like about the song?" 17 asked.

"The singer has a very metallic sounding voice," 16 stated, "I appreciate that."

"Kiss ass." 14 sighed under his breath, bitterly.

"Yeah... plus, it like makes you want to drive really, really fast, right?"

"Not particularly."

"... You have to see this movie 16, it'll change your life."

"Alright."

"What the heck is this asinine talk bout this movie," 13 growled, poking his head back from under the hood, "Everyone knows Smokey and the Bandit is the greatest car movie in film history!"

"... How's the engine, I mean, if you've stopped fantasizing about Burt Reynolds long enough to actually look at it?"

13 frowned.

"It's gone."

"I thought you said you could fix anything?"

"By gone, I mean the engine has left the building, nephew."

17 crossed his arms, frustrated.

"Ah, come on, we didn't crash that hard."

"It fell off a cliff, cuz. You need driving lessons." 15 grumbled.

"I knew this bus was too much vehicle for a little guy like you," 13 sighed, " I shouldn't have let you drive it, boy!"

"Father... I still think you're a good driver."

"... You should never take your eyes off the road." 16 added.

"Et to, 16? So you're all just going to lay into me now?" 17 steamed, "Give me a break, it's my first accident! … That wasn't on purpose."

17 was actually bothered. 18 grinned at the sight, such a rare form for her brother. All things considered, she couldn't resist getting her's in as well, especially considering all the annoyances he had delivered upon her in the last few hours.

"_There's something inside you, it's hard to explain, we're talking about you, boy, you are so super lame._"

She flicked his silly sunglasses off his head, as she sang the final word.

17 looked fit to yell, but he maintained.

He even grinned slightly.

"... You picked up on those lyrics awfully quickly sis. Admit it, you like that movie too, don't you?"

17 smiled, victoriously.

"Not really," 18 shrugged, then smirked deviously, "But Krillin really loves it.."

"No..."

"Yes." she grinned.

17 grit his teeth. He threw his hands up and glared towards heaven.

"Nooooooooooooo!"


	3. Camp Crystal Laking

**Camp Crystal Laking**

After much deliberation, the androids had finally made it, to the cabin.

"Welcome to casa del 17, boys." 17 said dryly, as he kicked in the door to his own home.

18 shook her head in disbelief. Her brother's cabin had been brand new not so long ago, but it was already starting to fall apart. And, watching the way he treated it, she could clearly see why.

He was a thoughtless idiot.

If he so much as dared to ask to stay at her place, when he inevitably toppled this one...

...

18 suddenly grimaced, reminded of what Vegeta must be doing to her home right now. She had to get back there...she had to finish up here in a hurry. Or it might be her asking 17 for shelter...

No, wait, there was no way in hell she'd be doing that, she realized as she stepped into the cabin.

"Ah, you noticed eh?" 17 said, sensing the mood. Then he grinned as he outstretched his arms dramatically, "BEHOLD, my trophy collection!"

17's enthusiastic presentation of his cabin was met with mostly appalled expressions from his guests.

18 glanced around... she hadn't been here in over a year, and things had certainly changed...

17 had apparently found a new hobby to occupy his time; animal heads mounted on plaque boards. It figured, with how obsessed he had gotten over hunting. But this was a little too much. A great number of these 'trophies' swarmed the walls of the cabin. Moose, deer, mountain lion, bear, wolf, pigeon. You name it, it was there.

It was... unsettling, to say the least.

"Boy, you got problems!" 15 seethed, voicing the near universal concern of the party.

"I'll start worrying when I strap a cat's mattress to my skull." he shot back, "But seriously guys, pretty impressive right?"

He then marched up to a bull moose head, hung in the dead center of the living room.

"This one here, he was grazing over at a clearing five miles from here," 17 started, boastfully, "It was 3 in the morning, and I was plastered. I thought it was a horse, and I tried to ride him. Needless to say, I blacked out, and the next morning this was here, and that's how my trophy collection was started!"

….

"... 17, have you lost your mind?" 18 asked, deciding to break the long silence that accompanied the ending to that horrifying story.

"Ahh, you just don't understand men stuff," 17 said, waving her off, "You guys get it, right?"

18 frowned, he seriously expected some form of kudos for this? No one here could seriously approve, especially not... 16!

18 glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. Knowing his deep love of nature, she nervously anticipated his reaction... might he get violent? Would he blow the place up? She worried… but he just seemed frozen with a horrified expression on his face.

"Come on guys." 17 smiled wryly.

18 wondered if he was delighting in their discomfort, or somehow, in his crazy head, he did expect them to appreciate... this. True, yes, everyone here was a man made killing machine. Granted. But that didn't mean they were without taste.

"This is creepy as hell." 15 suddenly stated.

"Whatever," 17 rolled his eyes, "You like this, right 16? Look at all the pretty animals I caught!"

16 swallowed. Great stress painted him... nervous sweat dripped down his face. His eyes twitched, and his jaw quivered.

18 was half convinced he was going to have a stroke on the spot, even knowing he was a machine...

"17... this is horrible... what did these animals ever do to you?"

"What... I thought you would like it...?"

17 stroked his chin thoughtfully, looking over the room. Seems he was finally starting to get it...

"I think it's great." 14 said, finally speaking up.

He suddenly got into 16's face with an air of antagonism for the other giant.

18 watched this display with mild worry. But the stand off was ended before it even began.

"Yeah, I guess they suck." 17 sighed, bashing a fist against the support beam of the house and causing all the mounted heads to suddenly drop to the floor at once.

18 watched this with mixed emotions. The defeated look wash over 14's face, 16 just as horrified as before if not more so, the support beam splintering slightly as the entire building then took on a slight lean, and 17, finally. Who completely dismissing all of this, slammed into his couch and flickering on his big screen TV.

"Pull up a seat boys! Sis!" he said, as he began fiddling with his remotes.

15 and 14 shrugged, and joined him on the couch. 17 made a show of treating 14 like a dog, and forcing him to sit on the floor. But, they seemed to get chummy after that. While 16, then began to gather the discarded trophy heads in silence.

18, having had more than her fill of them for a lifetime, took a step out onto the porch, and firmly closed the door behind her. She then rubbed her temples and slowly began to compose herself.

But as she slowly opened her eyes, though, they came to rest on none other than 13.

He was standing in the yard, with a sullen expression on his face, hands tucked into his pockets, lazily kicking at the dirt.

"Everybody having fun in there?" he asked, moodily.

"I'm not doing this." 18 seethed.

"Too good for old 13 too, aren't cha, eh?" he asked, making quite a show of feeling sorry for himself.

"I have a kid of my own! I will not be this group's 'mommy' too!" 18 seethed.

"Niece, you forget yourself!" 13 blathered, suddenly summoning his old self, "I'm your uncle too! I'm the adult!"

18 frowned.

_**Earlier, at the bus...**_

"Alright, we're flying then, I guess," 17 had said, after he had stomped the bus's corpse into the earth in a rage, "Everybody follow me."

"Not so fast, city boy!" 13 suddenly exclaimed.

17 reaction had been less than curt.

"What, you constipated old man?"

"Wh-Gah! I told you, I ain't no old man, boy!"

"But you are constipated?"

13 was steaming.17 was smirking. Everyone else was groaning in annoyance.

"What's the hold up?" 18 had asked, trying to mediate.

"The hold up," 13 seethed, "Is I'm done following some green as grass boy!"

"..." 17 blinked, " Why the hell are you following 16 around? I'm the leader!"

"By green, I mean wet behind the ears, untested, unskilled, inexperienced you!" 13 roared, pointing at him.

"Then go away."

"Not so fast, boy! I think it's time everyone recognize me, as the boss o' all y'all!" 13 announced.

"No," 17 growled.

He then made a fist, and then pumped it up and slapped a hand across his bicep, completing the obnoxious gesture that suggested one go fornicate himself.

17 was always a class act.

"The strongest should be the boss!" 13 roared.

"He is!" 17 roared back.

"Ugh... 17?" 16 said, raising a hand.

"Don't interrupt, 16, it's rude," 17 said, interrupting him.

"Like hell you are, I'm the strongest!" 13 shot back in a roaring voice.

It was really going to happen. Neither wanted to back down, neither wanted to give up, and both wanted to be the leader. The two stared each other down, and everyone else took a seat, recognizing the rhythm. It was time for the two most obnoxious androids to have it out.

"I bet you daddy wins." 14 said, nudging 15.

"I will lose on purpose if you don't shut up!" 17 roared to the audience.

"What the hell makes you think I want to bet on a constipated redneck?" 15 asked him back.

"I'm not constipat-"

13 started to yell. But he was stopped.

17 had seized the moment, slipping a knee into the side of 13's head. 18 had to shield herself from the rock spray that resulted, not a doubt in her head 17's aim had been intentional, as 13's body drilled into the side of the mountain.

He followed the body and beat into it mercilessly, before bouncing away with a grin.

"All good, eh?" 17 smiled, clapping the dust from his hands, "I'm the boss."

13, slowly drifted down from the crater, rolling on the gravel... upside down, cradling his stomach, he looked back at 17 with burning hatred.

"I disown you, nephew!"

"Sore loser."

"I'm just not complete yet, you'd be sorry if..."

"If what!"

"... Shut up, ex nephew!"

...

And that had been it. 13 had officially cut ties with the group, but had still been trailing them sourly, ever since. Like a brooding child.

"If you're an adult, act like one, and take care of yourself." 18 growled.

"I'll act like an adult, by taking care of both you spoiled little 'nieces'!" 13 growled back.

They had a small moment, where 18 wondered if she would have to fight this crazy old android too, just like 17 had to. But, they were both suddenly distracted.

16, who had been standing off to the side in the yard, suddenly blasted a hole into the earth... he then slowly started to fill it with a hill of trophy heads... saying "Rest in Peace", as he carefully placed each one inside. It was just odd enough to reaffirm 18's prior feelings.

It was past time to get back to the normal world.

"You 'little boys' can settle your delicate egos between yourselves, I'm going home." she sighed taking flight.

She looked to 16 at that to say goodbye... when she noticed how depressed he still looked.

She felt pity.

"Yo 16," she called, getting his attention, "Want to come to my place?"

He was a good one after all. 18 didn't mind his company. And 16 smiled brightly at the offer.

"That sounds... cool." he said, taking flight as well.

"Wah- Wait up Niece! Don't you have a room at your place... for your beloved uncle?"

"Piss off." 18 said gracefully, somewhat ironically, as she blasted off into the horizon, "And keep a low profile, if you know what's good for you!"

Only a slight amount of uncertainty weighed on her...but she felt somewhat sure all these idiots were on the same level... they had to placate themselves somehow... besides, she had to get back. She had a veritable Napoleon in her house that needed tending to, a daughter home from school, a husband that was on the precipice of a nervous breakdown. And, most importantly, a little millionaire woman that needed shaking down for her husband's damages. Krillin had said she had written a generous check earlier... but 18 would make doubly sure of Bulma's generosity...

All in all, she had way too much on her plate to worry about 17 playing nice with his new friends. They would get along, and stay out of trouble, or they wouldn't. She had done her best.

She blasted away, without another thought about it. As 17 burst through the porch door.

"Where are they going?" he yelled, to the only other person there. 13.

"Same place I'm going, away from you!" the older android frowned at him, and disappeared into the woods.

17 frowned back.

"... I thought we were going to hang out..." he sighed, and then got angry, "AND I thought you were supposed to already be gone!"

Assured 13 had been told off, 17 slowly walked back into his home, a little less energetic then he had been this morning, with one thought on his mind.

"Ultimate family my ass."

**Meanwhile... **

Far above the forest, dark forces were gathering...

"That little twerp Krillin couldn't have been more precise?" Vegeta growled.

"Apparently, he had never been to the cabin himself, so he only knew it was somewhere in these woods..." Bulma stymied, sidling up to her airborne husband in her hover car..

"How sure are you of that?" Vegeta asked angrily, frustrated from his fruitless search thus far.

"Truth serum doesn't lie." Bulma smirked.

**Meanwhile somewhere else...**

Krillin flopped out of the bathroom in a daze. A needle still stuck in his arm.

"Geez, 18 is never going to believe this!" he whined.

He had endured so well, too. But the crazy stuff Bulma had injected into him had had his head go all funny... in fact, he was feeling incredibly fixated on the ceiling all of a sudden.

"... Pre... pretty colors..."

_**Back there...**_

"Pretty sure." Bulma continued, stroking at her chin in a self satisfied manner.

Vegeta stared back, a little creeped out.

"... It's going to take all night at this rate!" Vegeta growled, getting back on task, "Let's split up, you take the boy, and have him turn super saiyan if you find the bastard, alright?"

"Okay... but, again, you're just going to beat him up, right?" Bulma asked.

"We'll see!" Vegeta grinned.

_**Back at the other place from before... **_

"Hey, is there anything between you and the blond chick?" 15 suddenly asked.

17 stopped his channel surfing abruptly, to slowly turn to his guest, a discomforted expression on his face.

"... She's my sister..."

"... So, no?"

"..."

"Then she's single? Alright!"

17 blinked, turning back to the TV. He frowned and shook the weirdness of the exchange from his head, for the sake of peace. But, all of a sudden, he was beginning to question the idea of sharing his home with these people...

"Think she's into short dudes?" he asked, with a hopeful grin.

"..." 17 turned to him again, then sighed, "Actually, yeah, her husband's a dwarf."

"I thought you said she was single!"

"No I didn't, I just heroically fought the urge to smack you for hitting on my sister, and then suggesting I was dating her. I didn't have time for anything else!" 17 growled, again shaking his head in disbelief, "And either way, you're a glorified microwave oven, dumb ass, what are you going to do with a woman?"

15 frowned, an insulted look taking over his face.

"And what are you going to do with one, huh, fancy lad?"

17 glared at him at that, and 15 tensed to run...

17 slowly eased back into the couch... 15 warily did the same.

In a flash, 15 blasted out of through the wall of the cabin, through which he was punched.

17 watched him bounce away with very mild entertainment. He probably wouldn't be coming back here after that... if he knew what was good for him.

He sighed vehemently suddenly. Everything was going back to normal... back to the way it was...

He then turned his attention to the only one left...

"... Father, are you alright? I can give you a back massage?" 14 suddenly reassured.

17 sighed. He really didn't know any of these people, he realized. They were creepy, and odd. And not like him, not like 18, and not like 16. They were not family, they were unsettling strangers with unknown agendas...

And he didn't need them in his house.

The small hole in the side of the cabin was suddenly widened considerably as 14 followed 15's trajectory remarkably closely.

'There, back to normal', he thought, glaring over his empty home, with nothing but empty beer cans on the floor and a blaring TV on the wall.

He groaned as he flopped back into his chair. The boring was back, alright. He absently fished at something beneath the couch with this arm. When he finally found it, a half full bottle of bourbon, he brought it to his lips and guzzled it without hesitance.

He didn't need anybody...

_**Over back at the place where the thing was happening...**_

Trunks was glaring at his mother, as she flew around above the woods in concentric circles.

"Mom, how long is this going to take? It's getting dark out!"

"If you'd help me look, a lot less longer." Bulma growled back, "Don't you want to get back at that android?"

"I don't care anymore!" Trunks whined.

"You should!"

Bulma was getting rather irritated. She was doing this for him, after all, he could be less whiny about. And, more importantly, former villains like 17 couldn't be left with the impression they could just do whatever they wanted... They were setting things right here!

After all the damage, the stolen radar, and everything else... that bastard deserved at the very least, a beating. Without at least that, what was to stop him from acting up again? As well as, figuring out what disastrous thing he wished for... she, they had to do what was right here, and police the hell out of the situation! And when she got hold of that panty drawer ruffling freak, she was gonna ring his puny little-

Bulma suddenly gasped. Something was in the distance...

She didn't spot a cabin. But she did spot, rather easily even as it was turning dark, all the trees and dirt her husband was flinging up, in some frustrated search on the other side of the woods.

"Has your father found them?" she suddenly asked, wondering if this destruction was purposeful or not, and wondering what was worse...

"He's still keeping his power level pretty low." Trunks sighed.

"I still have trouble wrapping my head around the concept that that is him restraining himself." she sighed, in awe.

"Mom, what's that?"

She turned to Trunks suddenly, who lazily pointed out a building, shrouded in trees, right below them. The faint glow of a TV from the windows being the only thing giving it away.

"You did it Trunks!" Bulma cheered, "That's my super boy!"

She ruffled his hair, and he groaned loudly.

"Let's check it out first," Bulma grinned, "Don't signal your dad until we're sure!"

"Fine." Trunks said tiredly.

Bulma was beaming, as she made landing. She was totally psyched for this! Sure, she was slightly troubled by how much they had imposed on 18 and Krillin, but this part was completely fine with her... 17 was creepy...

Those old stories future Trunks had told still touched at her mind these days. In fact, more than once she had imagined her Trunks living such a painful existence as the one from the future, and it didn't sit too well with her... Of course, that was impossible now, she knew... but it didn't hurt to make sure the jerk got the point. Right?

As the engine on the car shut down, Trunks suddenly bailed out early, and flew right up to the front door and started knocking before she could stop him, with no hesitance. Bulma seethed.

"Wait, Trunks!" she cried, rushing after him.

They didn't want to alert the man to their presence, merely to identify him, and then let Vegeta handle it! Darn the kid's anxiousness, she growled to herself!

As she raced up, she noticed a bashed out wall, and she become increasingly worried they had found their mark, and she hurried to pull back Trunks!

Unfortunately, she caught him just as the door flung open. She couldn't move for a second, frozen in shock.

17 had a dull expression on his face, which wasn't too threatening, but as she took in his full visage, that changed. Her eyes were drawn to his shirt, and the large red stain adorning it. It was the paint splotch he had received earlier that day, but not knowing that, Bulma imagined the very worst.

"Well, isn't this a surprise!" 17 grinned mischievously, "Bulma, and brat! What brings you to my door?"

"Vegeta!" Bulma called out instinctively in fear, even though she knew her husband was out of ear shot.

"I figured as much," 17 sighed, suddenly teleported behind them, a firm hand finding it's place on each of the two visitor's backs, "Caught him cheating, with Goku, no doubt. Well come on in, you'll be safe from their forbidden love here-"

Bulma's face scrunched up, utterly flabbergasted. Was he drunk, he was just going to force them into his pace, as well as his place?

He ushered/pushed them into the cabin before they could get one word in.

"It's not much, but welcome to my humble abode." 17 said, closing the door behind them.

Bulma took a chance to glance over the place... empty beer cans, bare walls, an odd stink of... blood? Also, brand new and expensive furniture and electronics...

This looked like a criminal's apartment, she realized.

She was terrified. Luckily, Trunks had spunk enough for both of them.

"My dad is honest, he'd never cheat Goku!" Trunks growled at him, misunderstanding the earlier comment, "You'll see for yourself how honest he is, cause he said he was going to beat you senseless, jerk wad!"

17 shoved a controller in his hand.

"I have an exceptionally violent video game in the system, why don't you go check it out?"

"Cool!" Trunks said, abandoning his mother.

"Wait Trunks no!" Bulma tried, but was immediately cut off by 17.

"Relax, it's not that violent!" 17 grinned, leading her out of the living room, and into the kitchen.

Bulma eyed him warily... without Trunks, she couldn't summon Vegeta! She was completely at 17's mercy right now... blood soaked, sadistic, evil 17! What could he possibly have in store for her?

17 began to move fast when they got into the kitchen. He pulled a bottle of wine from one of the shelves and expertly filled two glasses, a candle was suddenly lit, and they were suddenly seated at the table...

"So," 17 started, in a deep voice, as he slid the wine glass in front of her, "How's your life?"

A confident smirk spread across his face slowly.

Bulma seethed. It was worse then she thought!

_**Back somewhere else entirely, and earlier...**_

14 and 15 dusted themselves off, some ways away from 17's cabin. And the mood wasn't exactly pleasant between them. In fact, they were quite dismayed.

"What the hell is that guy's problem?" 15 growled, in a fowl mood, "I was half joking, for freak's sake!"

"Father is just moody, you shouldn't have hit on auntie 18!" 14 shot back.

"... How long are you going to keep this bit going?" 15 asked, incredulously.

"Bit?"

They both stared at each other in confusion at that for a while. A good while...

"You boys!" 13 called, suddenly appearing from the darkness, "Come with me, we got work to do!"

As they looked upon his face, they could see his expression was positively evil.

"No." they answered in unison.

"Wh-Wh-What!? Did you guys forget who's in charge here!"

Instead of answering, they just began walking away.

"Wait-Wait- wait now boys!" 13 stammered, "I've got something to show you! You guys still remember you're programmin', don't cha now?"

That made them hesitate.

"And what is that?" 14 asked carefully.

"One of the Z fighters, a ornery little man name of Vegeta, is sneaking around these woods in the northern region," 13 smirked, "And he's mad as hell, wants to kill some man by the name of 17."

"Father!" 14 exclaimed.

"Now wait a second here, how the hell you know that?" 15 questioned, holding back the giant who was already ready to run off.

13 smirked in self satisfaction.

"The man has a penchant for talking to himself."

15 frowned, looking between his cohorts... 13 egging them on, and 14 about to run off on his own.

What choice did he have?

"Foller me!" 13 beckoned, already leading the way.

And of course, 14 shot right after him, and 15 trailed soon after. Hesitantly, but surely.

They followed in silence. In this kind of thing at least, the trio could show the utmost professionalism. After all, this is what they were built for. And more than that, 15 kept silent to listen intently for the sounds of a trap springing on him...

But, it didn't take too long, before they could clearly sense Vegeta's power level, somewhat confirming 13's story. He was hiding it pretty well, but as they closed in, it was easily apparent.

The Saiyan was here.

Before long, he was even in view, they came up right as he was tearing the doors off some old, abandoned shack in the middle of the woods.

"Show yourself, android!" he said, smacking the building apart, completely oblivious to their arrival.

15 regarded him thoroughly. He was a good bit older than the data suggested... it made him wonder how long had they been decommissioned... But the data was mostly correct in other aspects. Highly aggressive, violent, and arrogant. Just watching him take his frustration out on a building, he could tell the accuracy of those assessments. But, he had to wonder, at the predetermined power level of this guy... could he really still be so weak? When 18 and 17 seemed to be avoiding him?

Before he could think too long about it though, the situation was suddenly put in motion... by their fearless leader, no less.

"Hey, short stack!" 13 yelled belligerently.

15 seethed in shock, but that's all he did. Once you let the cat out of the bag, the cat was out of the bag. No sense freaking out. Better, he act calm and feign some sort of sympatico among them.

"Who's there!" Vegeta roared out ferociously, tossing some scraps of shack aside.

He looked very threatening somehow at that moment, 15 thought.

"It's who's there 'SIR', to you little man!" 13 exclaimed with almost comical enthusiasm.

He seemed almost like a wrestler at that point, he was so over the top.

"Are you serious?" Vegeta smiled menacingly, "Come here insects, let me show you heaven."

Suddenly a small explosion slammed engulfed the androids.

A very small explosion. 15 had to raise an eyebrow, this wasn't enough to hurt any real warrior... was he really underestimating them this much?

As the dust cleared, they all got to witness the surprised look on Vegeta's face.

"Wait a minute," he seethed, "You're not normal humans..."

15 seethed again despite himself, that attack would have obliterated normal humans! He would kill a bunch of normals just for calling him short? Aggressive was an understatement for this guy!

"Boy, you have no idea the can of whoop ass you just opened up on yer self!" 13 exclaimed, carrying on his frenzied approach.

"I don't, huh?" Vegeta asked, smirking lightly.

13 smiled back knowingly.

"Guaranteed, more than you can handle boy!" 13 roared, and then he suddenly shoved 14 and 15 forward roughly, "Get him boys!"

"What the hell!" 15 screamed.

_**Back at the cabin...**_

"You know, I don't even hate Krillin all that much... it's just the principle of it, ya know?" 17 slurred out, pouring himself another glass of wine, "No wait, I guess I hate Krillin actually."

He emptied the glass in one gulp, and began the process of refilling it, which was getting more complicated the drunker he got. Bulma stared on in disgust. It was his second bottle, the glass he had poured for her was still sitting in front of her, untouched.

He had began this little sit down with some flirting, but within minutes, he had begun chugging glass after glass, and just bitching about his sister's family.

"You know, it's like, what the hell if she sleeping with a midget... how does that even work?" he exclaimed, "I mean, I'm asking you, how does that work? You being married to Vegeta, you should know right?"

He laughed obnoxiously, and poured his wine all over the table in the process.

It was pathetic, she thought. He was completely sauced.

But still, she was terrified of him. If anything, even more so since he was drunk. Judging from the simulated gun shots blaring from the living room, Trunks was also heavily immersed in his game, he would be no help. She didn't know what to do.

"Ser.. seriously now," 17 blathered, "What is up with Krillin's hair? It's not just me right? That's really freaking weird, isn't it?"

Bulma grimaced... weirder than getting drunk with a woman and spending the whole time talking about your sister?

…

Suddenly she stopped herself... she wasn't disappointed... was she? … Was she?

Suddenly, she realized, it was time to go.

"Trunks, we're leaving!" Bulma suddenly exclaimed, rising from the table.

"Wait... you just got here! I have more wine, I could freshen your gla..." 17 stopped mid sentence, perhaps noticing for the first time she hadn't ever touched her glass.

"We had a lovely time, we'll see ourselves out!" Bulma growled bitterly, seeing how easy it was to leave, and becoming more angry with herself, "Trunks!"

"One more level mo- ahh!" Trunks yelled, as Bulma's fingers found his ear, "That hurts!"

"Don't you ever abandon me in a bad guys house you little brat!" Bulma seethed, dragging him out the front door, she called back to 17 one last time, "Good bye now!"

"Uh-huh." 17 mumbled, downing her glass of wine.

He seemed to have stopped noticing them.

"You can let go now!" Trunks growled as they finally made it back to the hover car.

"I can't believe how easily distracted you are," she growled as she released him, "What the hell happened to you in there? Didn't you remember the plan? Summoning daddy?"

"He wouldn't have come anyway!" Trunks frowned, "He's fighting somebody in the woods!"

"Oh don't... What?"

"Yeah," Trunks smirked, "I'm guessing it's another android, but he's really going to town. He wouldn't notice if the planet exploded right now."

"Is he okay?" she seethed.

Was this the wish 17 had made? Some unstoppable android brought back from nothingness!?

"Relax," Trunks sighed, "He hasn't gone past ascended level, so he must just be having fun!"

"Shouldn't you go help him just to make sure?" Bulam cried, worried.

"Well, let's see, they're headed this way after all..." Trunks said thoughtfully, looking towards an explosion coming up over the tree line, and getting closer by the second.

Bulma screamed.

An explosion rocked the outside of the cabin. Hard enough, that the abused building began to collapse on itself, which was still barely enough to get 17's attention. The piercing scream of a woman did the rest.

What the hell is going on, he thought.

He stumbled towards the front of the house, wine bottle in tow, and stepped outside. Quite a sight greeted him.

The first thing he noticed, was Vegeta. Smirking like the devil and in his 'super' form, he stood before a plethora of destruction, nearly the entirety of the forest behind him was razed to the ground. He was looking like quite the villain, 17 thought to himself. Off to the side, Bulma's hover car was on it's side, and trashed. No doubt the scream he heard. Finally, his eyes settled on the odd, and severely injured blue fellow lying between him and Vegeta...

"Oy," 17 growled, stepping forward, "What the hell's going on?"

Vegeta's smirk widened as he stepped forward.

"Your boys didn't last very long, Android!" he chided, "They even fused together, and they were still weak as spit!"

"My boys? And I thought I was drunk, speak some sense, midget," 17 smirked raising his bottle.

"Midget?" Vegeta seethed, suddenly leaping forward.

He came down hard. But not on 17. Instead, stomping right on the blue warrior.

"ARGH!" it screamed in response, "17!"

17 paused mid sip... that voice was kinda familiar.

"Who are you, blue boy?" 17 asked, drunkenly.

The blue being stared at him, bewildered.

"... It's me... 13..." he sighed, exasperatedly, "14 and 15 are in here too... this is our true form..."

"What?" 17 scoffed.

That didn't make sense...

"They tried to save you, android!" Vegeta chided, pressing his leg into the blue man and causing him to scream, "They tried so hard, and I killed them one by one!"

17 frowned, suddenly dropping the bottle, to shatter against the ground. He was sobering quickly.

"They wouldn't do that..." he said, absently.

He remembered beating up 13, and tossing out 15 and 14. Why would they turn around and help him?

"Why would you do that?" he called out.

"Because I could!" Vegeta seethed back.

"Not not you, why'd you do that, 13?" 17 seethed angrily, "Who asked you to stick out your neck!"

"Grah," he groaned, "There was no helping it... since you're family and all..."

17 felt a chill run through him at that statement.

"That's rich!" Vegeta was laughing, "The toaster has a family! I suppose that would make you a blender, eh?"

He pressed his foot into 13 again, to which the android groaned painfully again.

17 felt a deep rage course through his body, driving out the alcohol and returning his sobriety...

"What frickin right do you morons have to die for me!" 17 screeched, "You think I need your deaths on my hands!"

"Did I strike a nerve, pretty boy?" Vegeta smiled brightly, pressing his foot into the android one more time for good measure.

"Little midget man, listen up!" 17 declared, leaping from the porch, "I slept with your wife tonight!"

"What!" Vegeta growled, for the first time this night noticing his wife in the overturned hover car.

Bulma frowned, still in the midst of climbing out of it.

"He's lying, duh! And you flipped us over you ass!" she roared back.

"Better be," Vegeta growled, turning back, "I guess I'm killing you either way, though, pretty boy."

"I'm afraid you're the one who's gonna die boss," 17 frowned, flicking his earring, "Because I'm not the same man I was yesterday!"

17 frowned, time to see if Shenron was as full of it as he had sounded...

"_I wish for ultimate power!" 17 had called out._

_The dragon had smirked most suspiciously then, as if it had been waiting the whole time for that wish. Like, he had expected it..._

"_I will give you a power," he had started, "A power beyond any other!"_

This was going to be interesting, he thought with malaise, remembering what the ridiculous power was supposed to be...  
"It's time for you to see... the ULTIMATE POWER, bestowed upon me by Shenron!"

"What!" Vegeta seethed.

"No, he wished for immortality!" Bulma yelled.

"No, something even more powerful!" 13 called out weakly, "A power that will make you regret the day you were born!"

"What foolishness is this!" Vegeta growled, eying his opponent warily.

17 grinned, as images quickly flashed through his eyes. He smiled, then he reached out his hands, and using his fore fingers and thumbs, made a box around Vegeta, from his point of view... like a director...

"And there he stood, the diminutive and highly sensitive, flamboyant, and grossly effeminate princess Vegeta!" 17 called out, to everyone's distaste, "Lightly giggling like a girl over his perceived victory, he stared back in virginal ignorance of the reality that surrounded him, and the impending doom, that was coming for him... perhaps, too wrapped up in thoughts of becoming Goku's bride to notice-"

"Are you high right now or something asshole!?" Vegeta seethed.

"No he's starting it!" 13 chuckled, "17 has the ultimate power, he can break..."

"What? Break what!" Vegeta growled, in frustration of the wounded warrior's pause.

"-But just then, a space pod hit the ground!" 17 continued.

"Why do you keep spouting nonsense!" Vegeta roared, turning back to him.

But just then, a space pod hit the ground between them.

… And everybody started to freak out.

"Th-That's impossible!" Vegeta screeched.

"It's not impossible," 13 grinned, "17 can break, THE FOURTH WALL!"

"And then, the space pod opened, and out stepped Vegeta's greatest nightmare!" 17 continued.

"There's nothing I can't handle!" he screamed back, getting into fighting position.

And as he dictated, the doors of the pod opened... and out stepped something nobody expected.

"It was, "17 announced, "Broly, the legendary super saiyan!"

A super saiyan that must have been eight feet tall stepped out of the space pad, glowing with a yellow aura and bulging with muscle.

He glared around the battlefield, before his eyes finally settled on Vegeta. As they did, it's eyed glowed, and he began laughing wildly, crazily.

"HA HA HA, HA HAH AHA HA!" it roared into the night.

Vegeta frowned.

"Big bang attack." he said dumbly, as his body crackled with lighting, signaling his turn to Super Saiyan two.

"HA HA, HUH?" it roared, as the energy ball caught him, and dragged him into the sky, "NOOO KAKAROT!"

It's final scream was punctuated by an explosion that filled the night air.

17 stared upwards... mouth agape.

….

"_I will give you the power, to change the flow of this world." Shenron had said._

"_... Wait, what?" _

"_You will have the ability, to perceive, and change fate, to an extent."_

"_Like I said, what the hell does that mean?"_

"_It's simple, you can control what happens around you, and you can see things you shouldn't be able to... to an extent." _

"_Why do you keep saying 'to an extent'?"_

"_You're a character in a story that can break the fourth wall, there is no greater power. Quit questioning it!"_

"_Give me freaking immortality instead! Why'd you give me such a stupid power!"_

"_I want those bastards who abuse my wishes to pay... and you're going to do it for me!"_

"_Like hell I will!"_

"_I'm talking about the Z fighters!"_

"_... Oh... well..."_

17 frowned...

To an extent... Son of a bitc-

"17!" 13 seethed, "Why would you summon someone weaker than Vegeta to beat him!"

"Th- the," 17 stammered, "The data said Vegeta would curl up in the fetal position and be completely helpless against that guy!"

13 stared on incredulously.

"What data?"

"That dragon ripped me off!" 17 roared, "This ability is freaking worthless!"

17 was suddenly thrown aside, as his house was caught up in a large explosion.

"Oops, I missed, but then I don't have the 'Ultimate Power', do I? " Vegeta chided hovering over them menacingly, "Any more tricks, before you say goodbye, android?"

17 frowned... he glanced over the faces that would likely witness his last moments on earth...

13, staring on with hope in his face, but not in his eyes. 13 wasn't the dumb redneck he thought he was after all...

Bulma... cheering her husband on... what a witch, he thought. And her son, so disinterested he was playing cell phone games...

Finally, Vegeta, so entertained about the idea of killing, it seemed he could hardly control himself.

What the hell, 17 thought. He launched himself from the ground suddenly, right at Vegeta.

"And then 17 became a hundred times stronger than Vegeta and caved his stupid face in!" 17 announced out loud, as he brought his fist forward to strike.

'Work, stupid wish ability,' he screamed to himself.

"That sounds like a good suggestion!" Vegeta grinned, as his fist drove itself into 17 face as far as it possibly could.

17 body smacked against the ground and bounced into a tree. He came to a rest, right in the middle of the woods, cradling his face. Vegeta had made no idle threat, he had pretty much caved his face in. His nose was shattered, his eyes were blurry, he probably had double black eyes. And his whole face ached in such a way that he suspected something was really wrong. If he had ever needed to know the exact difference between himself, and a super saiyan 2, well, he certainly would never need to again. He pretty much knew it now.

But, he couldn't roll around in pain right now... he didn't have that luxury, he had to get up! As soon as he could get a hold of himself, he leapt to his feet and faced his enemy. Making use of all his nerve.

"Bah," Vegeta groaned, "I held too much back, I wanted to kill you with one punch... would of made it funnier when I told your sister!"

"You know what was funny?" 17 growled out, using a deep voice to avoid using his nose, "When she broke your arm and you squealed like a stuck pig for an hour!"

Vegeta's smile dropped, as a ball of energy filled his hands.

17 groaned... this was so damn stupid... why die at this prick's hands... of all people. But, oh well, not like he had much choice in the matter...

This was as good an end as any...

"Stop!" A voice rang out through the night air.

17 looked up, just in time to catch it... his family.

18 and 16 found themselves on either side of him then... standing beside him.

"We fight together," 16 growled.

"Look, the green one's back," Vegeta smirked, as his energy orb grew bigger.

"You have a lot of nerve!" 18 seethed.

"18..." 17 sighed.

"You're going to pay for what you did to my house!" she roared.

17 chuckled.

"And the little woman too," Vegeta smiled, as the orb grew one more time, "I wouldn't have it any other way!"

"Oy, you're short!" 13 managed to call out, still in the crater where Vegeta had left him.

"And the new one," Vegeta smiled as his orb grew one last time, "Well, it's been a pleasure, but it's time to say goodbye, scrap heaps!"

He reeled up to throw it, and everything seemed to slow down. 17 smiled. His sister... his brother...

He eyed the blue warrior...

His uncle... his cousin... and... and his... his casual acquaintance too...

He imagined the bothered look 14 would have made at such a statement and grinned.

They really were his family. At least on that, the dragon really hadn't lied. In his moment of need all of them came to save him, they were all willing to die trying, that was so much more...

It hurt so much more than the thought of his own impending doom... how many lifetimes would it take to repay his dept of being such an incompetent leader?

17 smiled, leaping forward, ready to deploy his shield. He'd catch the orb before it could engulf anyone else. He could take his own death alone, at least. He didn't need anybody dieing for him... especially, ones he was starting to care about.

17 smacked against something. At first he figured it was the orb, and he miscalculated when to open his shield, but, opening his eyes, quite the surprise awaited him.

"Whoops, sorry!" a familiar, and incredibly annoying voice said.

17 frowned, touching his broken nose that he had re-hit against this man's back.

"Whoa, I didn't do that did I" he asked.

17 Frowned.

Goku. And behind him, Gohan, smacking away Vegeta's attack. Also, Krillin was here.

"18!" the dwarf roared, bounding towards his wife "I finally brought the cavalry!"

He hugged her mid section, but 18's eyes didn't budge from the saiyans... only once, to glance at 17. And in that instance, he could tell, they were thinking the same thing. For perhaps, the first time in several years.

"Vegeta!" Gohan yelled, "This is over, right now!"

"Get out of the way you idiots," he sneered back, "This is between me and the androids!"

"Vegeta!" Goku chimed up, "This is enough, don't you think? He messed up your house, you blew up his. That's fair enough!"

"Screw you!" he yelled back, "He messed up your place too! Where's your balls, Kakarot! Are you really going to let that stand?"

Goku shrugged.

"Yes. I guess."

"Vegeta, we're not backing down, so just let it go already, alright?" Gohan shouted back.

"You soft clowns," Vegeta shook his head in disdain.

"Do you really want to fight all of us?" Gohan roared, "Go home Vegeta, you've done way more than enough!"

"Fine, you love the androids so much, you can have them, but you better watch your backs, you better all watch your backs!"

And with that, Vegeta blasted off in a huff, and was gone.

"Well, that's probably going to be a headache down the road," Gohan sighed.

He turned to face 17 then, and the other androids.

"Okay now, we're not going to be able to do that all the time," he said sternly, waving a finger in 17's face, "So, you better learn to behave yourself from now on."

17 stared back, quite intensely. Gohan scratched his head nervously in response.

At that point, Bulma groaned loudly, and broke the uncomfortable silence. Pulling herself from the wreckage of her hover car.

"Vegeta, you idiot!" she cried, "You forgot us!"

She dusted herself off, and approached the group in a huff. Trunks followed her with a smug grin, apparently, things had finally gotten interesting enough for him to pull his nose out of his phone.

"Hey, I told you so, didn't I, 17?" he smirked making it up to the group, "My dad kicked your butt!"

17 stared back, blank faced.

"By the way, can I borrow that game?" Trunks smiled, switching gears. But to his horror, Bulma suddenly grabbed his ear again.

"Don't talk to them," Bulma warned, then she turned to Goku, "Can we get out of here, like now?"

"Hold on Bulma," Goku said, stepping forward.

All of a sudden, the odd mood became apparent to the non androids.

"Uh, you alright 18?" Krillin asked, looking up to his wife's face.

"Not now Krilllin," she said, not removing her gaze from the two saiyans.

".. Um... you guys alright?" Gohan asked, scratching the back of his head awkwardly,.

17 stepped forward.

"We're fine.. good day."

The rudeness of the statement left them a bit speechless.

"... Okay, well, I guess we'll be going then..." Goku laughed nervously.

"Wait!" Krillin exclaimed.

He ran up to them, and put his hands up to whisper.

"Guys, don't leave me alone here!" he whispered worriedly.

"Krillin, I have my own wife to deal with," Goku said, laughing nervously some more.

This time, the nervousness felt more intense...

"Tell me about it," Gohan sighed, "She was really mad when we left with you."

"I get that, but at least ChiChi can't actually kill you!" Krillin seethed.

"She can do worse!" Goku frowned, "She might stop cooking for us!"

"That's not worse!"

"Come on let's get out of here!" Bulma cried, grabbing onto Goku's shoulder.

Gohan and Trunks did likewise.

"See ya guys!" Goku said, waving in a friendly manner, as they disappeared.

"Sorry Krillin!" Gohan shouted.

"See ya, stink weeds!" Trunks chided, pulling down one of his eye lids and sticking out his tongue.

"Wait!" Krillin yelled at there vanishing after images.

But it was no use, they were gone. Back to Mt. Poazu and West City, and so on.

Krillin's body slumped in defeat... then he suddenly shot upright, turned around, and plastered a big, nervous grin to his face.

He was trying his best.

"Hey guys, lucky we got through that one alright, yeah?" he laughed awkwardly, "Let's all go home then... 18?"

"How did Vegeta find this place?" she asked, sternly.

"I-I-I don't know, luck maybe!" Krillin about screamed, "Maybe... you know I think Bulma has android sensing radar or something!"

"I don't know aht's worse," 17 said, as he stepped forward, "Vegeta, or having to be saved by those monkeys."

"Whoa, wait now," Krillin exclaimed, "18, save me!"

Krillin held up his arms in defense, but he walked past him. He walked past him, and right up to the injured 13.

"You alright, old man?" 17 asked, nudging him with his toe.

The blue android looked in a bad way, but he still growled and cracked his eyes open.

"I ain't dead yet, boy... and I ain't no old man!"

"Are 14 and 15 really in there?" he asked pointing at his body.

"..." 13 stared back somewhat absently, "Parts of 'em..."

"Where's the rest of them?" 17 quickly asked.

"... They're all busted up, a ways away that way,"

With some effort, he pointed towards all the wrecked forest he and Vegeta had caused.

"About where all that starts, I figure."

"Good." 17 nodded.

He then turned, and approached the group.

"Alright everybody, listen up!" he called clapping his hands.

They obliged, even Krillin took a nervous step forward.

"18, I want you to go get Dr. Brief, and bring him back here with some tools, or a mobile lab, or whatever they got." 17 explained.

"Do you want me to be rough?" she asked, much to Krillin's disbelief.

"No," 17 answered thoughtfully, "He put 16 together, right? So, he should come willingly... but if not, by all means, get rough."

"Wait a minute guys," Krillin said, trying to interrupt where this was headed, "I can see Vegeta went a little overboard, but you can't just-"

"Make sure nobody sees you kidnap the old man." 17 added.

"No problem," 18 said, as she turned around and took flight.

"Wait, you're actually doing it!" Krillin seethed at her.

He tried to stop her, but she was gone in seconds, blasting off at full speed.

"18!"

Krillin was panicking.

"... As for you, 16," 17 continued, "Want to help me gather up 15 and 14?"

The green giant nodded.

"Of course,"

"Then let's get to it," 17 sighed, "We have a lot of work to do."

They turned to leave, as Krillin watched, in deep moral confusion, but relieved they hadn't decided to just beat into him once 18's back was turned.

"Hey, old man, you gonna hold up okay here til we get back?" 17 called.

"I'll die before I have a sissy like you worry about me, boy," he said gruffly, "I'll be fine!"

"Whatever." 17 said with a smile

Krillin watched them start to leave again, and suddenly, something besides relief washed over him... it was an intense feeling of being out of place... some how, it was even worse...

"Wait up!" Krillin yelled, running after them, "Let me help! Six hands are better than four!"

17 turned and frowned at him, stopping him in his tracks... but then his expression softened.

"... Do whatever you like."

The three set off at that. To do what needed doing.

….

**One week later...**

Beep-beep-beep-beep!

ChiChi smacked her alarm clock with vigor, then turned to Goku's sleeping form worriedly.

Fast asleep!

She grinned triumphantly. It wasn't often she beat her husband in the race to wake up first, but it was always nice when she did. It gave her a halfway decent chance at whipping together his and her sons monstrous breakfast in time...

ChiChi frowned suddenly. Would she be glad when Videl took Gohan off her hands? Pretty likely, she was starting to feel.

But that was neither here nor there, she knew, as she leapt out of bed. She had work to do!

She quickly got dressed and marched into the kitchen like a soldier headed to war... cause in many ways, feeding three saiyans was just that.

… But it seemed the war description would be even more apt today than usual...

As she rounded the corner into the well worn kitchen space, she suddenly slipped, slid, and smacked into the fridge. She struggled to contort herself, she was so freaked out, but she composed herself, and faced the horrifying image in front of her as best she could. It took everything in her.

"GOKU!" she screamed, as loud as she could.

Within seconds, Goku, Gohan, and even Goten all appeared around her... and shared her disturbed expression.

"What's going on?" Goku asked.

"What the hell are you doing in our house!" ChiChi screamed.

They all stared at their intruders expectantly.

"Glad you asked!" 17 smiled widely, sitting at the head of their dinner table.

He outstretched his arms, bringing into focus the crowd of people standing around him.

"I wanted to introduce you to some people. You already know me, android 17... and this is 15, my cousin,"

"What's up," a pillow headed man said.

"16, my brother,"

"Hello." the green clad giant said.

"... My uncle, 13,"

"Howdy." said the man in the trucker cap.

"This guy,"

"I don't even get a name call? I'm 14!" a pale skinned giant yelled.

"And of course, my sis 18,"

"We've met," the blond woman said.

"Oh, and her pet, Koko or something." 17 finished.

"Hey... this wasn't my idea," Krillin pointed out approaching the Son family, "Also, thanks for taking care of Marron the last couple days,"

"You're messing it up, you dork!" 17 growled, leaping from the table.

"Daddy?" Marron said, stumbling out of the back.

Suddenly, the mood completely changed.

"Ahh, honey did we wake you up?" 18 asked, rushing to pick up her kid, "17, you idiot, I told you not to do it like this!"

"I told you not to leave the kid with the enemy!" 17 exclaimed.

"There the only couple we know!" 18 seethed, "Besides, I don't want her hanging around you weirdos."

"Benedict Arnold!" 13 exclaimed.

"Alright alright!" 17 exclaimed, "Just let me finish this thing before it's completely ruined, okay?"

"What's going on?"

Suddenly, the mood completely changed again. 17's eyes widened, as a young woman suddenly appeared from the back. Attractive to a T, and dressed in an oversized over shirt that definitely didn't belong to her.

"Gohan!" ChiChi, exclaimed, "What is Videl doing here!"

"No!" 17 suddenly yelled, stomping his foot on the kitchen table, "Don't let me see that... Don't let me see a woman like that coming out of Gohan's room in the morning!"

"... Seriously, what's going on?" Videl reiterated.

"I can feel my respect for Gohan growing!" 17 exclaimed, "I can't let that happen! Please, everyone, everyone just pretend I just finished introducing everyone, alright? Let's get this over with and get the hell out of here before I find out Goten's got a harem or something."

He waited for acknowledgment at that, and desperately tried to gather his thoughts.

"What is going on!" Gohan exclaimed again.

"What's a harem?" Goten asked.

"Okay, we are, all us people here are..." 17 said, pausing for dramatic effect, "Your new neighbours!"

It was very quiet at that, all of a sudden. But soon, someone spoke up.

"Gohan, you can not have Videl over here at night, you're not even married!" ChiChi roared.

"Geez, you're so old school," Videl complained.

17 seethed ragefully. They were ignoring him.

"We ate your damn breakfast!" 17 roared.

"What!" a good number of people screamed, in horror and shock. Terror, and pain.

Oh, but the horror was only just beginning. As 17 laughed boastfully from atop the Son's dinner table, he was being watched over, by quite the vindictive deity.

Shenron grinned menacingly, looking beyond the void from the realm of dragons.

"Weak start there, boy," he ruminated, "But you'll get there..."

Shenron laughed, a deep and powerful laugh.

"Annoy the Z fighters, straight into the grave! For all the annoyance they've brought me!"

He laughed again, on and on. His oddly motivated revenge, was only just beginning!


End file.
